counting sheep

You make me want to sing the blues
untied my shoes, tied 'em up again
You make me want to laugh. Loud
I stood in the crowd. But I didn't stand out
You make me want to cry before I sleep
as if counting sheep wasn't painful enough
I close my eyes, try to forget
but you can bet, that I will remember
You've made me like a hollow bird
just say the word, and I'll float
I blink.
I think, maybe this time
I stare at my empty hand
Maybe he'll understand, but I doubt he's real
I'd wear you like my favorite shirt
you'd treat me like dirt, whatever
I'd knit you a scarf for winter days
you'd say it's just a phase and throw it out
I like to whisper your name at sunset
You'd rather caress the frets of your guitar
I light candles in remembrance of you
You say we're through, without saying a word
I raise my glass, I raise my fist
I'm pissed to say the least
You made me want to sing the blues
untied my shoes, threw them at you
you made me want to laugh. Loud.
I stood in the crowd. And laughed as I walked away
You made me want to cry before I slept
but now I've kept count of those sheep
and you've fallen short.

of imaginary

You try to make me forget the moon
but it shines through my window
forming a box on my floor
pointing at my door
beckoning me to dance in its rays
it wants so much to warm me
but the sun has stolen
the thing that would make it golden

I sit alone. Again.
I've grown accustomed to the moon
as my friend
the stars my allies
they are the ones that see me when I cry
hear me when I sing sweet songs
of pretend.
Of imaginary
of someday

and now I'm writin' words for an imaginary audience.
You might read it
she might read it
and it might stir something
but that's not why I write.
Maybe it is sometimes.
Maybe I make rhymes
hoping for some face to appear
at my window
like romeo
like juliet
I don't know yet
which one I am
I'm tired of you sayin' this is who I am
I may have skin that's white
but white is just white
not the absence of light
maybe that's why I write
to make no sense
just to sound poetic
to get you to stop and think
maybe it's pathetic
but you're thinking
about the moon
now. Aren't you?

Hopefully you'll dance in her moonbeams
and sing a little song
dance dance the whole dark long

what's in a name

you know what I think?

I think you think you know

what it is to be a dancer.

you think I'm all pink

and tutus inside

that the swoosh on my Nikes

is just a symbol of swag

that my duffel bag

is full of soy cheese

and weight-loss bars

but let me tell you

that I've come this far

by the sweat of my brow

by the ache of my knees

the pain in my shoulder

the back flips, the splits

the groans, the moans

of yesterday's warm up.

Let's see you do 75 sit ups

after 100 push ups

let's see you lift those legs

180 degrees, thank you

girl please!

I work my butt off, literally

let me see you, come on let's see ya

Werk! with a capital start

let's see you play the part

of ath-e-lete ar-teest

this dancer's a beast

with grace.

I am proud of my muscles

my calves wide and strong

I've got good legs, hell they ain't long

but they can kick worth beans.

my lungs burstin' at the seams

dances back to back

we break our back

are you not entertained?!



I call them artists.

I call them athletes.

Smart. Funny. Beautiful.

dancers.

paperwork.

here I sat stuffin' envelopes
I wondered if there was something
beyond this
I hoped there was something
but I think it's just an envelope
with corners, sharp edges
and a seal.
that holds dreams in
till the receiver receives
breaks the hold
and bam! dreams unfold
and paper cuts abide.
I still just think it's an envelope
with strangers' names
and other zip codes
lick and stick
peel.
bump and grind
bump up your pay
9 dollars a day
grind at the grindstone
you'll make more friends
this way.
Saving pennies cuz that's all
you've got left
you're cat's gone crazy
and you're dealing with identity theft
buy more stock
stock up on cheese
and wine
because you just got another
parking ticket
and you can't pay the fine.
But it's in an envelope
so you can't see it
so you can write poetry on the back of it
cuz maybe this is it
Like Michael J. said
only 4 more minutes...
ding! TV dinner's done
and you sit down
tryin' to unwind
this web of lies
you've spun
about your gym membership that's expired
and your new iPad 4 and a half
and the diet you created which will create
a multi-billion dollar market.
you need to start that business plan
outline.
next week.
the proposal's in an envelope.
so is your grandmother's birthday card you never delivered
A wish you well blessing that was never heard
but it's in an envelope so they'll
never know.

because you asked.

these lines are for your convenience
so you can better see inside my soul
there's holes so deep you'd never know
The pain that ravages bones
the tears that eat my veins
the police that lock up my blood cells
for interrogation
because they want to know, they have to know
what makes my heart beat
what makes my ventricles weep
they'll never find the sighs that have escaped
they'll never catch the hurt that burned

a hole in my left lung
they'll never feel the ache that left a for sale sign on my rib cage

open up your fucking mouth
and spit out the dirt you threw at me
I don't want to eat your lies anymore
this rhythm wont get caught in the mud
of society and illusions of the Berlin Wall
it's tumblin' down like a London Bridge

that I've been burning for decades
the police may get me for arson
but they'll never call me a liar
I speak truth. I've opened my skin

for scrutiny

my past is mutiny

my future, absolutely..hell if I knew

it's a circus show

where I play all the parts

including the ensemble
there's a marching band on my intestines
screaming orders to elephants
and skinny cheerleaders
who's blonde hair and short skirts cut my eyes
out.
Oh but I fell for your calipso eyes
your gasoline tongue
ignited my breath
till every heart beat beat like the one two of the marching band
slow and steady. slow and steady.
you were like Johnny Cash
dressed in black already attended the funeral of ocean waves
that reached out to the sand
and were eaten alive.
silence.
that's all you've got now
you fill it up but still it explodes
like your ear popping.
no one hears it but you.
this life is an endless romance
of desolation and desecration
you want stimulation
I want a beer
You cry Oh God!
I am more sincere
I don't take shits but I give two shits
for people who are trampled
by words instead of caressed by lips
who are beaten instead of danced with
who can't write. who can't read. but their ears
bleed from cuffs, from scolding because
they didn't eat their broccoli.